Riding the culture coaster all the way to Shymkent

It’s been a wilder ride than usual lately. I’m about to reach the end of the longest term of the school year, but it’s been a tough push for a while now. Some days I’ll be riding the biggest high of my life, and some days just the tiniest things can suck the life right out of me.

In any other situation, I’d say that I might be a prime candidate for a clinical depression diagnosis at this point, but I think all this craziness is just par for the course in the Peace Corps experience. Especially here in the northern part of Kazakhstan where winter is so harsh.

Motivation has been a stranger as of late. Occasionally he’ll drop in for a quick cup of tea, but then he’s off again. I think it will change soon, though. Like many other volunteers, I’m living for IST right now. We’ll all be back together to swap horror stories and things will get back on an even keel. I hope!

I know I can turn things around and really start making some progress, but right now it just seems to be slow going. Sometimes I feel like it might even be losing ground. Even thought I teach English classes in a Kazakh school, I’m hearing more Russian than any other language in class on a daily basis. It’s frustrating. Really frustrating. Some of the groups I have just seem to not care, and no amount of preparation seems to change that. At this point, my own attitude is starting to be an obstacle to progress, too (I’m sure that fact is quite evident at this point in the post).

My time in Kazakhstan is limited, so it’s important that I invest my time wisely. I need to spend more time in the areas where I am currently having an impact and have a good chance of accomplishing some great things. If the groups I am working with continue to show no interest in what I have to offer then I’m going to have to speak with my manager about the possibility of terminating my work with them. There are other groups at the school who would kill for the opportunity to learn with a native speaker, so I can’t continue to justify spending time with groups that don’t have an interest in learning.

It wouldn’t be a bad thing, either. I really do need to get out into the community more and start trying to develop a secondary project. I’m a volunteer for the entire community, not just for the school where I work.

Time to get to work on materials for class tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day. If not, I’m heading straight for Pavlodar after class on Saturday and that should help improve my mood. Especially after I have my tickets to Shymkent!